Toolio was fat

Halloween Bash

So our 3rd Annual Halloween bash was a total hit.  At the peak, we had about 40+ people in da house.  We had spooky food, great music and dancing, wonderful conversations and even glowing witches brew to drink.  I was Marilyn, of course.  Hubby was a zombie, of course.  Deso went as Winnie the Pooh and Bubs was The Doctor, of course.  Here are the highlights in pictures:

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

This is Patricia Arquette ("actress").  I know nothing about her except that she was once married to Nicholas Cage when he started buying paintings from my Uncle Pooch.  I thought she may have been sane.  I guess I was wrong.

OPRAH MAKES ME MAD AND GUSHING

Yeah - I sometimes watch Oprah.  Not sure where that lands me on the "hipster" scale.  Not very high, I imagine.  Most of the time I really respect what Oprah has to say and when she is doing something very responsible, like featuring Al Gore and his global warming documentary or taking a whole hour to interview Barak Obama, I applaud her.  I appreciate her recent efforts to expose truths in our society that both the Government or the mainstream media don't present to us. 

However, tonight Oprah reminded me of her tendency to believe she's God.  Yes, I said that.  Sometimes I think she believes she is all-knowing and what we really hear from her is her own agenda.  Granted, I usually agree with it, but it is hers and not necessarily all truth.  She is the most important woman in the world and she uses that status to influence her millions of viewers.  And, of course, lots of these people actually believe Oprah because...well..why would she lie? 

So tonight's show was on a "phenomenon" (her words) that is happening with people who've had weight loss surgery (WLS).  There were lots of bad stories about woman trading their food addiction for another addiction; alcohol, sex, gambling, drugs, whatever.  Since those who've had WLS can no longer feed their addictions with food, they turn to new sources.  She calls it "addiction transfer".  Totally makes sense.  It happened to my mom when she quit smoking (cigarettes became food).  This is not news to me, but then - I have (had) addicts for parents. I know about this crap.

But MISS O presented this topic as if WLS will lead you to addiction.  She showed a couple of bad cases as the norm for WLS.  And, of course, millions watched so millions will believe her.  She even showed a graphic of how gastric bypass surgery is supposed to work; but she GOT IT WRONG. The misinformation totally supported her theory, by the way. I have a feeling she knew what she left out and knew that her viewers would believe her anyway.

Now - I understand Ms. Winfrey believes WLS is the "easy way out".  She will say it the rest of her life because she did not have surgery to lose her weight.  I also applaud her for this.  She also points out - quite frequently -  that being obese is only a result or manifestation of the real problem, whatever that may be.  I also agree with this.  We didn't get fat because we just loved food way too much.  We got fat because something was/is hard to deal with or out of control.

What Ol' Opey doesn't get is that not everyone is fat for the same reasons she was/is. Sure - it really is a simple equation of calories in vs. calories out, but the way we get fat and why we gained weight in the first place is as unique as we are. Okra seems to think that since she's found her way to lose weight, that it must be The Way to lose weight.  Again with the God complex.

She applies her personal experience with weight loss to everyone.  She shows one side and presents that side as the norm.  This is what I hate.  I hate that she stereotypes fat people and WLS.  So now the world believes that anyone who's had WLS did not get counseling, did not try diet and exercise (or 40 diets in my case), or did not try hard enough.  What?  How can anyone begin to understand what "hard enough" is for me?  Sorry - no one can.

I am not stupid.  I knew exactly what I got myself into.  Though I present a cavalier attitude about my eating and health, I actually pay very close attention to it now.  I know when I'm making bad and good eating decisions.  I will struggle with that for a very long time.  Eating right will be hard for the rest of my life.   More admissions (this is hard for me because I still don't like to talk about it):

I did see a counselor (prior to surgery) about my weight problems.  I was very unhealthy, though I lied about it a lot, for many years. I was constantly on a diet.  I am not addicted, but I do have a harder time dealing with life now that I can't eat my problems. I don't really do anything excessively anymore (maybe hug my kids, but hey).  I get drunk on 2 glasses of wine.  I have never had an urge to gamble, do drugs, seek extra male attention, or any of these other self-destructive behaviors that Oprah says I have done since WLS.  I didn't do that before surgery, so I didn't do it after.  Duh.

Fact - I am one of the lucky ones with the weight loss.  Most WLS patients don't lose all their extra weight.  I did.  Most gain some or all weight back.  I have not gained (or when I do, I lose it pretty quickly). I had some minor side effects: hair loss (some still say it was from the anesthesia), nausea early on, and severe infected gallbladder (the worst one).  I try and get my nutrition levels checked on a regular basis which shows I am occasionally slightly anemic.  Actually, I've been anemic since I was 14.  I <usually> take supplements twice a day.  Surprisingly, I would not recommend WLS as a good means to lose weight.  It was right for me, and that's the only person on whom I can make such a judgment.

So why am I worried about what Oprah said?  Don't know.  I guess it's because I don't want those who know me to believe her hype and start worrying about me.  Most people take her word as gospel and they're wrong to do it.  At least on this issue they are.

Hopefully one day O.W. will stop being so judgmental towards fat people.  Maybe when she finally gets over her eating issues, hah?  Until then, I think I'll skip the weight loss episodes.  Uh...yeah.

MY TAKE ON STUFF

Anyone else get sick of the stupid crap that makes our national headlines? So here's the stuff going on today:

1.  Hastert appears before Foley ethics panel: Oh really?  Dumbass Republican Speaker.  When will these people realize they've been caught?  Jesus, they're stupid.

2.  Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes to Wed in Italy: Gee, great.  That crazy Dianetics fanatic and his Dawson's Creek teenager-fakey-girlfriend are going to pretend to get married.  Why won't he go away?!?

3.  Course correction? White House tosses Iraq mantra:  Waddya mean?  Oh- Come on now, Georgie- don't let those liberal granola eaters get you down!  We need that oil, ol' buddy.  Stay the course, man!  Stay. The. Course. (i'm literally retching)

4.  Immigrants from Laos win $55 million lottery:  The winner is from Seattle, but originally from Laos.  She plans to go back to Laos and will begin searching for her parents (she grew up in an orphanage).   The woman also says,“I don’t know my parents...That is my wish, to find them.” Ummmm - I'm sure many, many parents will now attempt to find you, my dear.  Ya' think?

So there you have it.  The things that are supposedly important to our society today.  Hmmm - I think I like reading Bubby's Dr. Seuss books much better than reading this schlock.  Happy mid-week, y'all!

WHEN I'M BEING YELLED AT OR POOPED ON...

I just remember this image...

FINANCIAL PLANNING

Alright - so growing up, my brother and I didn't get real good financial advice from our parents.  Suffice it to say, one of my biggest hurdles in life is financial planning.  Never been real good at that saving money thing.  Thank god I made good money before I really had to start using it.  It helps that my husband is freakishly good at the money thing, too.

I decided recently to try and be a little more conscious about where the money is going, too:

I have literally set whole boxes of new shoes back in the salesperson's hands. 

I did not buy the 5 pounds of Brownie Bites last time at Costco.  I wanted too.  I looked at them.  For a long time.  But I did not buy them.

Stared at the new Dooney Burke handbag tapping me on the shoulder at Macy's on Saturday.  I told her she had to wait. 

Arranged to win MegaMillions Lottery this Tuesday.  Odds are only 1 in 17 milliongazillion.  I played $3.00.  See my strategy here?  Can't win if you don't play!

And...And!!  I just found out I may have already won a million dollars from PCH (that's right - we insiders call it PCH, not Publisher's Clearing House; that's for the losers!).

anything I can do to help my husband with the family finances is worth all this effort.  Yes - I can hardly stop patting myself on the back, thankyouverymuch.

STILL UPDATING...

Seems I can't find time to write about everything going on these days; and believe me, I want to.  I lay awake at night thinking about what I'd love to blog, and then never get to do it.  HayZeus - it took me an entire day to write an email to my BFF and that one was only about 4 sentences long. 

As a result, my dear readers, you get another update post:

Bubby requested a "kaprise" treat when I got home from shopping today.  He got Jones Blue Bubble Gum Soda.  What is wrong with me?

Did I mention I went shopping today?  Went to the chiropractor yesterday, then date night last night, then shopping today.  And yes, I am starting to feel a little more like me; thankyouverymuch.

This week was Hell For Moms Week, by the by.  Well, at least in my house it was.  Someone replaced my Bubby with a devil, but Bubby came home again on Thursday.  A better version of Bubby came home, actually.  Who was that other kid on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and what happened to Bubby while he was gone?  Good Bubby arrived just as I was pulling out the last of my hair.  Evil Bubby better not ever come back or I'm quitting this gig!

Speaking of Bubs - he earned a coupla bucks last weekend helping with chores and decided to spend it on a toy on Friday.  He picked out an army jeep that yells, "fire! Fire! Fire! FIRE!  FIRE!!! FIRE!!!" non stop while makling loud engine noises and flashing the most obnoxious red lights.  I don't see this toy bringing a lot of value to this household.  I see this toy broken soon or maybe "lost" in the garage somewhere.

Nothing much going on this weekend.  We are doing some major house cleaning in preparation for the Big Halloween Bash in 2 weeks.  It's our 3rd annual and it'll be way too huge.  We love it!

So - have a good week if we don't cross paths before it's over - more likely that I won't get a freakin' second to write...but no complaining here.

no- not me. 

never.

GET YER UPDATES

Sorry about Jolson, La and Fam.  He will be missed.  This cat had more personality than lots of humans I've met in my life.  He was my first nephew.  Bye-bye baby.

On a happier note:  Deso seems to be mending up.  On Friday we learned he has a double ear infection and we had already done the "wait and see" thing, so he's on the mold.  Antibiotics, that is.

No school for us today.  It's kind of nice.  I slept very well and now we will hit Costco and also find a place to unload lots of crap...uh..I mean really nice clothes that no longer suit me or fit the kids.  At least that's what we'll tell the consignment shop when we get there.

Mom has her place all fixed up and officially on the market.  Take a gander.  It's a great deal!  It's so cute!  Buy it, dammit~

Went to a Demolition Derby on Saturday night.  Yes, me.  I joined the ranks of families in trucks bringing in their coolers and Pepsi's and watched as various dummies smashed their cars into eachother for bragging rights.  Um- did I mention it was a total blast?!  My friend told me my neck was turning a little red and also pointed out there was still a couch on my front deck.  But I actually had a good time.  Don't tell anyone.

So those are the updates.  Have a great week, y'all.

FOOD IS GOOD

Hubby found this great website about nutrition.  Yes - I have read tons and tons and try to apply what I know to my lifestyle.  However, I often become uncharacteristically ignorant (or enter a state of denial) when it comes to the reality of the food choices I make.

Of course I have changed my lifestyle for the better since losing all this weight.  Of course I eat better than I used to.  I get some kind of regular exercise everyday now.  But still - sometimes I resort to eating crap; fast food, processed food or just plain junk. 

This week Hubs and I quit the sausage and bagel breakfast routine for a bowl of All Bran (extra fiber!) and banana.  It's not bad, but t'aint no Egg McMuffin.  We've done this route before.  I am a huge fan of Kashi cereals.  I keep that and a regular supply of Granola on hand.  But I won't lie - sometimes a plate of fat is just what I want.

Occassionally I want to eat fast food or some ice cream for dessert.  Is that bad?  I don't really think so.  What I've really learned from all the diets I've been on and losing the weight and being forced into will-power by way of a surgeon is this:

Moderation is key.

Novel idea, hah?  I think I have realized what food really does to me; good and bad.  I have learned to really appreciate food (most of the time).  I no longer really appreciate that Egg McMuffin, but I do certainly appreciate perfectly smoked salmon with homemade dill-cream cheese on toasted rye bread.

So I think we can all eat what we want, just in regular amounts.  Another novel idea, right?  I don't think anything food wise (or in life, for that matter) should be "off limits".  We all know what too much of anything will do to us.  Too much of anything will ruin our health, our lives, our familes, our kids.  Believe me, I know.

I used to tie emotions to food.  Sad?  eat.  Happy?  Eat!  Hurt yourself?  Eat.  Bored?  Eat.  Long day?  Eat.  Then the guilt.  The guilt made me think that fatty food was bad in any amount.  How about too many carbs?  I have a friend that used to say I was feeding my son too many carbs.  More guilt.  And, um, friend - how can a toddler eat too many carbs?

Then there's the treats.  In my circles, my friends call me The Pusher because I always show up to their house with something yummy and "sinful" (more guilt).  I am so sweet to think of them, right?  No - not really.  I just want a damn donut and the guilt about the damn donut makes me bring a whole dozen to a friend's house and just "maybe have one".  heh.

But still, I do need to be reminded once in awhile about what I am really allowing myself to have.   I know that a couple scoops of Ben & Jerry's is okay.  A whole pint is not.  Anything with high fructose corn syrup just plain stinks and, fortunately or unfortunately, makes me sick. 

Alright - so we'll continue the adventures in breakfast until we get bored again.  In the meantime...crunch away!

SO IT HAS STARTED...

The littlest boy is sick.  He had a horrible fever yesterday and last night.  He and both his parents have not been sleeping the last 3 nights.  He absolutely hates the snarfer bulb, but he's only 1, so he can't yet blow his nose.  The result?  Nose running like a faucet all over him and anything (anyone) that he touches.

So we are told by the Today Show that his symptoms are definintley influenza, not just a cold.  We have not yet talked to his pediatrician or anyone else off the street, for that matter.  I think we can handle whatever it may be.

And I just *can't wait* until this thing works it's evil ways with me.  At least I can blow my own nose.  Chances are Hubby will get it, too.  We think the 4-year-old had it midly last week and he may be done.

Hey - do we need flu shots if we already got the flu?

hmmm...