THIS REALLY GETS ME

Fresh off the presses from Citymama; this post has me fuming, again, about so-called "parenting experts" telling the world how they should care for their children.  See the whole story here.

What gets me is how anyone can claim that their method of raising children is the best.  Or would even work for another kid, for that matter.

Not a lot of people know this, but when I first had Bubby, I carried lots of guilt for his babyhood problems.  His birth was very difficult for us both and because he was a preemie, he was developmentally delayed with a few large motor skills.  I took all the blame for this and figured it was my fault because I was pregnant and obese.  Actually, it was my fault.

So add that to the already low self esteem I've lived with my whole life and my strange need for acceptance by others and I was a walking billboard for Under Confident Moms Weekly.

Raising children is the most important job anyone can/will ever do in their lives.  And so I used to read all the books and listen to everyone about how I should be doing something.  I used to feel really bad if I wasn't up to par with the more confident moms with the feeding, playing, reading, playgroups, etc.  Being a woman is hard enough without the added pressure of having to be a Supermom.  Try being a mom who waited to breed until after the career and travel and partying...Doesn't exactly scream "dedicated parent", does it?

I remember feeling so much guilt that I had a hard time breastfeeding Bubby.  I used to cry whenever he got sick.  I used to hide the fact that I let him watch Baby Einstein and eat non-organic baby food.  These things and others (that I do) are not what good parents do...or so I've been told.

Four years and another boy later, I have lightened up - and stopped listening to others insult me about my own parenting choices.  Why is it that so many parents (esp woman) think they know what's best for you and yours?  I realize now that I felt so much guilt about Bubby because I was told by others that I was wrong.  Other woman told me that I shouldn't feed him Goldfish or give him a bottle or cry in front of him or feed him with a smaller spoon or give him yogurt...WHATEVER!!

Now I follow the Jules Method because it really works.  My boys are really, really happy and seem mostly well-adjusted.  We do have our concerns about Bubby's emotional issues (potty, thumb-sucking, bedtime), but we will work them out.  If we need help, we'll ask.

I am glad that I nurse Deso whenever he wants to now.  I am glad that he can sleep in his own crib or sleep with me and he is equally happy doing either.  Bubby loves him some Disney Cartoon Classics and I will continue to let him eat Goldfish, if he so chooses.  Believe me, the last thing I will do to my kids is pressure them about food and eating.  I will present them with mostly good choices and hope they take advantage of them (Of course, Bubby is crying at this moment because we won't let him have some 7Up...heh).

So I guess I'm saying that I think it's wrong to assume one size fits all.  I will raise my kids the way i want, using my skills (or lack thereof) and we will definitely be The Happiest Kids On The Block.

Comments

[Cityslicker mom]

Oh I definitely think that it was good that you waited until after the partying and travel to "breed", that way you had your chance, you got it all out of your system, and you wont be one of those moms that felt like they missed out and neglect their kids so they can party all the time!