Toolio was fat

CAN WE TALK?

Can I just say how unfair it is that we are still sick (or sick again) around here?  Jesus H - you'd think we'd started the Black Plague in a former life for all this sick karma we're enduring.

I mean, COME ON!  Who is sick for months, really?  And it's not like we're seriously sick (except for Deso in the hospital that one weekend); we just keep getting a cold or flu or something stupid like that.

So I'm on day 12 of my "funky virus" with a horrid sore throat - still - and earaches - still and snotty nose, blah blah blah.  And now Deso is in the throws of a nice case of The Crud as well.  At least Bubby is nearly over his, but this week the doctor advised another continuation of the antibiotics for his as well.  We'll be starting round three of Augmentin this Saturday with him.

So I guess the term ,"doing well" is relative now.  I don't think I remember a time this year when someone wasn't sick in this house.  Last night I realized that Deso first got a cold when he was only 8 weeks old.  Poor kid.

These days, instead of dreaming about our vacation, or winning the lottery or performing or cooking abroad, my dreams are about a day when there's no kleenex required to get through a day.

Okay - rant over.  Just needed to a place to vent all this snot.

OH HOW I LOVE THAT MAN O' MINE

I am a dedicated wife.  It's easy when the husband is as great as mine.  And believe me, I am not the marrying kind.

I never really wanted to get married.  I can remember my girlfriends talking about their future weddings and wedding dresses and perfect husbands - all talked about from when we were little girls, mind you.  I never had a vision of a wedding or a husband.  My parent's marriage didn't work out and I never had much of a dad around.  Mom never talked about her own wedding.  There were no pictures, no saved wedding dress, and I was too young to ever remember seeing her wear a wedding ring (they split when I was 2).

When the girls used to talk about a wedding dress, I'd talk about new ballet shoes or Broadway or being the world's first "dancing doctor".  I knew I wanted kids, but was never really sold on the idea of marriage.

I've always hated the conventionality (is that a word?) of the Institution of Marriage.  The fact that it's called an institution should tip us off that it's meant to drive us crazy.  I've always loathed the phrase "the little wife" and all that crap.  However, sometimes we realize that we don't know-it-all.

Well...rarely, but it does happen.

Hubby asked me to marry him after we dated for 7 years.  Okay - we were roommates for about 6 months and never really moved out...or moved on.  By the time he asked me to marry him, not only was he getting the milk for free, he was getting the cow, the milk, the herd...shit...the whole damn farm.

We both took a long time to want to get married, but when it was time, there was no hesitation.  No cold feet, no second guessing, no last flings.  We almost didn't have to talk about getting married because it just felt so right.  He asked, I said yes - and thought it was brilliant.  We got married and then got preggoes one month after the honeymoon.

And today just reminds me of how right all of this is:  Hubby has taken a vacation day from work to take care of sicky me and my little boys.  He is on his way to school with Bubs and will come home to cater to Des and I for the rest of the day.

My cold is super duper bad right now.  So when Hubby came in and told me he had cleared his schedule and closed his computer to "be me for the day", I felt like he saved my life. 

And he does this with a total smile on his face.  He goes down the list of to-dos with pride and crosses everything off and asks me if he's done it right.   Did I mention he stayed up to do laundry and fold clothes last night after the rest of us went to bed?

So this is why I love this man.  He is a real man.  A real man takes responsibility for his family.  A real man will fold clothes and dance with the 4 year old and play the ukulele and cook me dinner.  A real man will bring home the bacon and split it up with the rest of us because he appreciates what we all do, too.

Hubs is not real affectionate or a master of the English language when it comes to expressing his love for me.  But I have have never had a doubt about how he feels.  That's slick. 

His kids know how he feels, too. 

He is our glue.  And he is Superman.  And if he ever reads this (he usually doesn't), he'll be reminded of how wonderful he really is.

BIRFDAY POTTY

Well, well, well...we had ourselves quite a weekend, thankyouverymuch~

The Massive 4 Year Old Birthday Party was quite the To Do.  I was up at 7:AM doing streamers and opening what seemed like endless bags of race car paper plates (note to self:  try to restrict the party supplies buying next year...riiiiiight).

Then it was cleaning, cooking, wrapping, decorating and balloons.  Okay - we had help with the balloons - between Bubby, Deso, Grandma C and myself we had a blast with the balloons and the helium tank.  Bubby chose the colors, mom blew up the balloons, Grandma tied, and Deso kicked and laughed at every new big circle being created.  Or maybe he was just laughing at Grandma and I every time we lost a balloon to the 24-ft ceiling.

Bubby kept saying, "my guest-tes should be arriving soon!".  He was thrilled and totally playing the Host with the Most.  Once everyone arrived and we got the music on, slide fixed, and barbecue going, we were in a groove.

There were almost no fights over the presents.  And when we finally had cake, the kids were pooped.

Bubby was very gracious in sharing his day and, especially, his toys with all the buddies.  This one will be memorable indeed.

OH HAPPY DAY!

So today is the best day ever.  Yes-  I know it's Earth Day.  More importantly, it's my first baby's 4th birthday!!

4 years ago today our lives totally changed.  Bubby's birth was really hard...for both of us...as in "life or death" hard.  We both stayed in the hospital for awhile and he was even in Intensive Care for a couple of days.  We were both fighting for our lives. 

Not only did he change our lives like everyone who has a baby, but the birthing ordeal made me decide to lose weight for good.  So I guess the doctor saved my life in the hospital and Bubby saved my future life so we could be together.

I remember thinking that I wanted to be around when Bubby has kids - so I'd better lose the weight.  2 of my doctors were convinced I was going to have a stroke before I was 50.  I had already had a heart attack and I was only 31 years old.   So I lost 150 pounds and gained a wonderful, exceptional boy.

We'll celebrate in big fasion, as we always do in this house.  My influence, I'm afraid.  What can I say??  Nothing's too good or big for my kids.  They are stars and heroes.

So Bubs - have a wonderful day, my love.  You are truly unique, loving and full of spirit. 

Happy Birthday, my love~

MASSIVE 4 YEAR OLD BIRTHDAY PARTY PLANNING

Just in case you didn't know - Bubby turns 4 this Saturday and we are throwing a (hopefully) great birthday party for hiim.  It's not as massive as we once thought it would be, so maybe it'll be doable. We have narrowed it down to 12 kids and 13 adults confirmed to come and partay.  OK - at 4 years old, I guess it's still a PARTY, not a PAR-TAY.

anyhoo~

We went to Costco the other day to get crap for the party.  Isn't it funny how we justify buying mounds of junk food when it's a birthday party?  We are being soooo  un-P.C. with the party grub, too.  We're serving hamburgers, hot dogs, DinoNuggets, pretzels, cookies, Veggie Fries (okay - a litte PC here) and chips.  Adults get all that and smoked salmon and BBQ pork.  We're drinking CapriSuns, beer and bottled water.

Are we so cultured, or what?!?

At my dear friend's baby's first b-day party, she made an all organic, gluten free, carob-chocolate birthday cake for him.  He went for the store bought tiramisu reserved for the adults.

SO more on the party to come.  I'm actually a little excited about it.

YIPPEE!

MILESTONES

Out of respect for my family and our privacy, I will not air the dirty laundry that has been piling up the last few days.

I just wanted to say that I can finally be proud of myself for some things that I have never, ever done...

I can be proud that:

I did not engage

I did not allow myself to be dumped on

I acted like an adult (so, so hard!)

I let it go

I need to give a big, big kiss to my hubby for reminding me that I AM a good mom, good woman and worth saving.  I love mi familia.  All my family.

And life goes on...

CHECK UP

So we went in for a follow up check for both the boys' sickies..

Et voila~

Bubby is getting a new ear infection.  And a sore throat.  And a sinus infection.  Again.

So after this round o' meds (continuation of last week's, really), I think we'll talk the ear problem more seriously.  Is it a bad season?  Is he now just prone to this?  Does he need a procedure?

Fortunately, the Littlest One is now doing well after his hospital ordeal.  He is still on antibiotics for his ear infection, but the doc says he looks really good.  And, of course, after all his trauma, he still managed to gain weight.  Yep - that's my boy!

Lastly, I have some kind of "funky virus" according to the Urgent Care doctor yesterday. 

I think I've given up on the whole try-not-to-be-sick thing.  It'll go away when it goes away.

I have better things to stew over, like how President Dumb-Ass thinks he's God... "I am The Decider"...Yeah?  Decide THIS, moron!

A STATEMENT ABOUT NOT MAKING STATEMENTS

I have been thinking lately about a trend I've noticed where people are taking such definitive positions on everything.  I've wanted to post about this for a long time because this is somewhat of a peeve for me, personally.

I'm talking about those who make statements about how life should be: the right way to parent, politics, social issues, nutrition, exercise, cars...whatever.  For example:  I hear all the time how a mother should never give their child McDonalds.  Or how about that all Republicans are bad people?  Or that one would never, ever eat a bagel because there's no nutritional value.  Or "never buy a Ford, they're all lemons".   Oh really?

I thought about this all night because of a post from my Sister In Law about "Mothering Wars".  It's not about making statements, but about the intense pressure mothers feel to be perfect and how society and the media contribute to the pressure.  When we talk about mothering, we all make statements about parenting.  I have heard countless times how my son is too skinny because he doesn't eat enough or that good moms never let their kids have treats or that the only way to have happy kids is to make them go to bed at the same time every night.  Oh really?

Okay- so there is merit to a lot of these statements.  OF COURSE we have bedtime.  OF COURSE my kids eat real food.  OF COURSE we take naps and vote liberal and yes, the Ford is broken.  However - when I hear or read that things should be a certain way, whether I agree or not, I sense a tone of superiority.  And this makes me feel bad.

And isn't that why we tell others how it should be?  To prove we're right and they're wrong?  And, in turn, validate ourselves?

Who really knows everything about everything?  NO ONE, that's who.  I'm totally sick of everyone thinking they're right all the time.  I'm totally sick of hearing how I'm supposed to be doing things and I'm totally sick of feeling bad about it.

My BFF, Lona, is the type of mom who doesn't pass judgement on other moms.  She doesn't pass judgement on hardly anyone or anything.  I've never heard her say "this is the way you should do it".  She always says "what works for me is...".  And when she offers advice, it's never because she thinks she knows better - it always come from a place of caring.  And, to her credit, she does know better - about lots of life things:  She has lived life...and has 4 kids to boot.

So I guess my rant is over.  I think I need to stop taking people so seriously and remember that most people only think they know...they really have no clue.

HERE'S THE 411

So after about 4 attempts to post about our horrible weekend with the baby, always halted by a preschooler or baby or husband, I have decided to give a synopsis and come back to our regularly scheduled (riiiiight) blogging when everything is closer to normal.

Here we go: 

-  Des was in the hospital over the weekend

-  He got a spinal tap, catheter, IV, blood drawn 3 times and passed out from pain

-  He had a strange virus that now seems to be gone

-  Deso will be just fine; he's just a little worn out

-  I am traumatized for the rest of my life

I'll be back soon.  We have Adventures with Grandma J, Easter, and the Massive 4-year Old Birthday Party coming up in the next couple weeks.   I'll keep y'all posted.

OF COURSE ANOTHER "SICK" POST

I don't think I mentioned how we decided to go ahead with the antibiotics for Bubby and his miserable cold.  We tried to let it run it's course, but after a weekend of green caterpillars crawling out of every orifice of his (and him resembling a zombie), we filled the prescription.

Doc says we did do right (some good) here because his body was trying to fight the infection for a good while.  When it was clear the infection was winning, the time for meds was upon us.  After 2 days on the Augmentin, he looks almost normal again.  There comes a time that, even though we  worry so much about future effects of something, that taking care of the issue now is so much more important.  In the case of whether my kids suffer or not; I choose not.

And that brings us to Hell Night.  Last night, to be exact.  After our nice little outing to the children's museum and super-cool diner yesterday, I thought the boys still looked tired and sick, so we came in for the afternoon.  Sure enough, Des had The Fever and we made an appointment for later that day.

Docs says Des now has a double ear infection and a sinus infection.  This time I went ahead with the antibiotics without hesitation (despite what I thought I'd do).  Bubby can take a few days of misery to fight a bad cold, but not my little guy.  He's - well - too little.

And we were up all night.  Hell Night.  Even though we were heavy on the Tylenol and the cold rags, Des' fever never got much below 104.  We were scared and tired all night.  Right now he has been asleep for almost three hours on his Daddy's chest on the couch.  That's 3 more hours of sleep than he's had all night.

His temp is down a little right now and should be better soon.  God I hope so.  Seeing your children in misery just sucks.

Okay- so today we are in quarantine again.  Antibiotics, cold rags, 4-year-olds getting stir crazy, and 2 sleep deprived parents.  Wish me luck.